Even Rihanna doesn't want to bring these scary '90s trends back. Can you blame her?1. On a grain of rice. 2. Stone-Washed Denim OverallsBonus points for wearing them with one strap undone. 3. Festive VestsSuch flare! Perfect over a T-shirt tucked into jeans. Especially if those jeans were pegged. 4. Plastic Tattoo Choker NecklacesClaire's carried every color of the rainbow, but it was really all about classic black and white. 5. Slap BraceletsThey were uncomfortable and kind of ugly, but a great excuse to hit your friends. 6. Butterfly ClipsOne butterfly clip would get lonely, so multiples were a must. 7. Chain WalletsEven as middle schoolers, living in the suburbs, we were still afraid someone would try to steal out wallets. 8. Printed Bike ShortsPerfect under dresses, skirts, giant T-shirts, and other, wider shorts. 9. Jnco JeansBecause, at the time, we believed that there was a direct correlation between slacker coolness and the enormity of one's pants.

10. AirwalksThe sneaker of choice for skaters and skater wannabes alike.Especially when worn on a short black cord necklace. Really anything on a short black cord necklace. 12. Jeweled Bindis and Crop TopsThanks to Gwen Stefani, these two went together like Zack and Kelly. 13. Floral Maxi Dresses Over White T-ShirtsLayering reaches conservative new lows. 14. Black Nylon Prada BagsEven if you didn't know what Prada was, you knew these were it, especially after Bianca name-dropped them in 10 Things I Hate About You. 15. Tibetan Prayer Bead BraceletsSo spiritual. And great layered with friendship bracelets. Wasn't camp the best? 16. Gigantic LogosHead to toe with a minimum of two logos so large they are practically visible from space. 17. Mood RingsThey were supposed to change colors based on your mood, but somehow they always seemed to be the same shade of greenish blueish gray. 18. These Things for Knotting Your Oversize T-ShirtIf they had a name, it has been lost for many years now.

So Many, Many Prints.As many as you could, all at once, and the brighter the better, especially those weird squiggly ones. Wasn't camp the best??!! Follow Charles on Twitter.Photo Credit: Nickelodeon, NBC, Jnco, Getty Images, ABC, Touchstone, Shopify, Tumblr Sold by imagine products and Fulfilled by Amazon. Forum Novelties Women's Neon T-Shirt Clips Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #25,908 in Clothing (See Top 100 in Clothing) Tee Shirt Clips 2PcI got these clips to wear for an 80's party to go with an outfit I threw together. I used them both to tie on each side of this tie dye shirt Tie-Dye T-Shirt ~ Short Sleeve ~ 100% Cotton ~ Saturn. These went well with these hot pink fishnet hoses Fishnet Pantyhose - Adult, a pair of orange leg warmers Smiffy's Unisex-Adult Leg Warmers that I wore under these "cutoff" shorts Wallflower Belted 5 Pocket Denim Short Short with Frayed Cuff, a pair of orange fishnet gloves 80's Long Neon Fishnet Gloves Costume Accessory, and topped off with of course a pair of white Reebok Classics Reebok Men's Classic Leather Sneaker.

I had tried to design the whole fit on a computer before I purchased any of the items to see what it would look like together and it all looked 80's to me. The only thing that wasn't colorful enough was the large tie dye shirt. Outdoor Wicker Furniture Cushion CoversHad the colors been more vivid in color like the pic I would have loved it even more.Toilet Shower Combo For Sale Another product I wish I'd returned. Best Diabetic Mens Dress ShoesMy kids didn't like it. I thought they might find it great for tying their shirts but this is too outdated. perfect fit for an 80's event Makes my baggy oversized tee shirts fit nice and snug. Great for some yoga poses! Seller was good n product was good. Bought these for an 80s themed party and they were as expected.

Stayed on and color was perfect. ORDERED FOR MY SISTER. SHE WAS GLAD TO GET THEM. WE DIDN'T KNOW THAT THEY STILL MADE THEM. See and discover other items: 80s costumesWe may not all be slaves to fashion, but at one point or another most of us are guilty of following the crowd. Whether we're trend dabblers or wanted in six states for crimes of fashion, many of us gave in to the glittering allure of certain fads for no reason other than that everyone else was doing it. These fashion statements did not generally jive with any normal rhyme or reason of functionality; everyone else was simply jumping off that bridge and we decided we might as well take the plunge ourselves.Everything is clearer in retrospect, so it's tough to admonish our former selves for not having the good sense to realize these trends were bad ideas at best. Fashion and trends are not about utility and function, of course, but these items are fairly high on the list of unjustifiable offenders. There remains no real solid explanation for their existence other than that magazines and stores told us they were worth sacrificing scarce allowance money.

If we can't defend their usefulness, we may retrospectively embrace their complete lack of function.There are many, many totally non-functional 90s fashion items to choose from, but here's a selection of some of the least defensible. If you wish to plead your case condoning their existence, feel free to use the comments section as an issues platform:Tearaway PantsOkay, fine, I admit these aren't completely without their merits. To professional athletes I imagine there was some millisecond saved when coming in from off the bench. For everyone else out there, these were generally inexcusable. These pants were held together not by stitching and solid fabric, but rather by well-ventilated snap buttons running down the outside of either leg. While it is something of an innovation to be able to remove your athletic pants in one single well-coordinated motion, it is not a necessary function by any means.Shirt Ties/ClipsThere are truly no excuses for these; they serve no purpose whatsoever, nor is the look particularly flattering.

For some reason, though, it was all the rage in the late 80s and early 90s for young girls to clip or tie their oversized t-shirts on one side. I'm only telling you this because I've finally come to terms with the ridiculousness of it all, but at one birthday slumber party I had kits for each girl to paint and decorate her very own shirt clip. Humiliating, I know, but I'm willing to take one for the team in the name of exposing key shirt clip evidence circa 1994.SkortsIf you're playing tennis, I'll grant you this one, but if you're just looking for the comfort of shorts with the dressiness of a skirt you have no excuses for humoring that whim by wearing this garment. From the front, a skirt. From the back, shorts. If you're not in an athletic situation, it's not a particularly flattering look to sport (some pun intended) a hybrid skort-shorts. In typical 90s clever coinage, we called them "skorts" but we may well have labeled them "fashion mistakes." Off the courts, there are no situations where it's necessary to be wearing one outfit from the front and another from the back, period.

The built-in shorts with a full-around skirt cover is a little better, but it's all relative in non-functional skort territory.Giant Platform ShoesI blame the Spice Girls for making these seem so darn appealing. In reality, they were impractical, cartoonish, and a bit dangerous. We started off in familiar territory with sandals and dress shoes, but things quickly escalated to a red-alert level when shoe companies started throwing these platform soles on sneakers. For that, there is truly no defense.Fleece VestsDon't you ever get really cold in the general torso area, but your arms remain comfortably warm? Well, have I got the product for you! Complete with its own insanely irritating Old Navy television commercial theme song, polar fleece exploded onto the scene in the late 90s in a major way. These vests were particularly popular, proving that many of us are willing to sacrifice arm comfort in the name of fashion. Stores marketed these as utilitarian and outdoorsy, but unless you're participating in a cold weather activity that requires exceptional arm freedom, these things are not exactly the most useful of warming winter garments.

Mini BackpacksWhat, you've never had the urge to carry around a receptacle that holds approximately three nickels, a stick of gum, and a handful of M&Ms? That's a totally legitimate haul warranting a bag of its own. We all know how tough it is to hold an incredibly small quantity of items in our hands, so when these mini-backpacks cropped up in stores we were all too eager to hop on the scaled-down container bandwagon. They were sort of cute, yes, but usefulness was not high on their list of positive qualities.Scrunched/Slouchy SocksIt's not so much that the socks themselves serve no purpose, but rather that the style in which we preferred to wear them was moderately mind-baffling. The scrunching served no real need outside of an alleged aesthetic purpose. It was simply the preferred style of sock self-expression. Why buy short ankle socks when you can just buy enormous tube socks and scrunch them into a fold-ridden mass? It's an airtight defense for slouchiness.OverallsCoveralls may be functional in a manual labor slash farm hand type situation, but they serve no real protective purpose in everyday suburban civilian life.