A shirt for sale until recently on clothing store Forever 21's website is being blasted as "creepy," "offensive," "anti-consent," "rapey," and "pro-rape" by the media. Its message: "Don't Say Maybe If You Want To Say No." The context in which I most frequently hear complaints about people saying "maybe" when they mean "no" is in the context of social gatherings. Most people have had this friend sometime, right? The one who always says they may swing by and never shows. The one who marks maybe (or, now, "interested") on Facebook events and always flakes. This sort of wishy-washiness or inability to state one's actual intentions in terms of social commitments is a complaint I've heard others make relatively often, and where my mind first goes reading the slogan on this Forever 21 shirt. But beyond that—i.e., even if you think mine is a naive interpretation and clearly the shirt is laden with sexual connotations—the interpretation of it as promoting rape or diminishing the importance of consent directly contradicts the words on the shirt.

If anything, the shirt promotes good sexual consent etiquette and encourages assertiveness about one's sexual wishes. Read as a message about sex, it says, hey, if you're not into something, say so in a clear and unequivocal way. So how can that message possibly be construed to promote sexual violence? Because we live in era where not blaming rape victims for what happened to them—a worthy sentiment on its own—has morphed into a mandate never to suggest sexual-assault prevention behavior in any way. Nail polish that detects so-called date-rape drugs? Women shouldn't have to wear special cosmetics to keep rapists at bay! College administrators discussing locations and situations common in campus sexual assaults? Women shouldn't have to curtail their social lives to avoid being raped! Promote assertiveness in young people about their sexual intentions? Teach rapists not to rape, not victims to avoid being raped! We've gone from a world where the worst conservative parodies about liberal reactions of this sort are now routine across left-leaning social media and feminist blogs.

In response to the current outrage, Forever 21 issued an apology Monday. It also listed the controversial shirt as "sold out" on its website. When you read through stories about campus sexual assault cases routinely, one facet that sticks out is how often victims say they "froze," or "shut down," and either said nothing about their wishes or gave vague responses like "I don't know." The people they later accuse of assault, meanwhile, say they didn't know their actions were unwanted. A lack of clarity about sexual boundaries is certainly an issue for young people today (and probably always). An affirmative consent standard—the idea that only "yes means yes"—is supposed to help mitigate these misunderstandings, and as a social norm (rather than a legal standard) or launch point for discussion of sexual consent, I don't think it's a bad idea. But "unfortunately, no one else can bear the burden of deciding who we want to have sex with, and then articulating it forcefully," as Megan McArdle writes.

"And a feminism that tries to compensate for this, rather than teach young women to be firm about their own sexual wishes, is counterproductive."Best Cat Breed For Me Test For our messages about sexual boundaries and consent to be the most effective (and at all feminist), they must also emphasize to young people the importance of expressing their own sexual desires clearly, be these desires affirmative, negative... or even maybe. Gas Powered Portable Ac UnitSometimes one really does mean "maybe," and that's okay, too—as long as people don't say maybe when they really mean no.Nutritional Yeast Weight Loss Popular retailer Forever 21 says it has stopped selling a T-shirt with a message that some say promoted rape. The men’s shirts read “Don’t say maybe if you want to say no.”

The move came Monday after customers expressed their dismay on social media, saying the shirt perpetuates rape culture and victim shaming. @Forever21 this is not fashion this promotes rape culture. — em (@Emmalayyy_) March 14, 2016 Hey, @Forever21, we think you should #StopVictimBlaming and pull this shirt from your stores. — Project Consent (@consentproject) March 14, 2016 @Forever21 how about we not perpetuate rape culture with your $19.99 shirt “don’t say maybe if you want to say no” why is this a good idea?? — Elle Wal (@LWald13) March 14, 2016 On Monday afternoon, the company said it had pulled the item from shelves and online. “Forever 21 strives to exemplify the highest ethical standards and takes feedback and product concerns very seriously,” Forever 21 said in a prepared statement to The Huffington Post. “With regards to the T-shirt in question, upon receiving feedback from our customers, we took immediate action to have it removed from our website.

We sincerely apologize to anyone who was offended by the product.”Image via Forever 21 “Sorry Ladies, I only date models.” That’s just one of a handful of appalling slogans featured on new Forever 21 shirts for young boys, and it’s the reason the retailer is apologizing this week after dozens of people rightly called them out for being totally sexist and inappropriate for kids. Earlier this week, Yahoo Style reported on the t-shirts, which were sized for boys as young as five and featured gross slogans like: “Sorry Ladies I only date models” “Chicks are all over me” After the Yahoo article went up, people started tweeting about the shirts and tagging the brand using the hashtag #NotBuyingIt. It wasn’t long before Forever 21 pulled the $11 shirts off their website and issued a statement that read, “Forever 21 takes feedback and product concerns very seriously. With regards to the T-shirts in question, after receiving feedback we have taken immediate action to have them removed from our website. 

We sincerely apologize to anyone who was offended by the products.” This isn’t the first time the brand has been in hot water over their t-shirt designs. They’re currently embroiled in lawsuits over several alleged copyright violations, including one that accuses them off using designs that rip-off Kanye West. In March, they were forced to apologize for selling a shirt that some thought joked about rape. Prior to that, they were criticized for selling a girls’ shirt that said, “Allergic to Algebra.” Forever 21 may have apologized for offending anyone, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that these shirts were even approved, manufactured, or sold in the first place. A shirt proclaiming that someone only dates models would be bad enough on an adult. As psychology professor and author Christia Spears Brown told Yahoo, these shirts and other products like them reinforce “a harmful stereotype about boys that says their value and worth is dependent on how many girls or women they can ‘conquer.’