Ellie Two-Piece Lace and Cotton Wedding Dress by Leanimal via Etsy Wedding dresses are An Issue for me. White wedding dresses, even. Yes, I think it would be great if there were a wider range of wedding outfits that were socially acceptable (or just more commonly worn). Yes, I think black wedding dresses are badass. But I also know that lots of us (me included) just plain old want to wear a white wedding dress, and the fact that our options are so limited galls me. Let me take a moment for a side note, here. Thanks to the research I did when writing the APW book, I’ve learned few things about the origin of the white wedding dress. And contrary to popular belief, it doesn’t have to do with sexual purity (gross); it has to do with wealth. Queen Victoria popularized the white wedding dress when she made the unusual choice of selecting white. I also am a firm believer in the fact that the real importance of wedding tradition is the personal historical meaning that it holds for us.

Couples only started getting married in churches in the United States around the turn of the century, but if your mother and grandmother and great grandmother did it, it might mean a lot to you. Thus it was with me (and with lots of us) and the white wedding dress. My issues with the white wedding dress are these: the hugely limited options, and the way that those options impose a certain vision of womanhood and femininity on us. In short, I really didn’t want to wear a sleeveless, embellished, ball-gown. Not for any political reason, but just because it wasn’t my style. But what I found in my endless battle with wedding dress shopping was that not only was it almost impossible for me to find a dress that wasn’t strapless (spoiler alert: I wore one), it was almost impossible to find a salesperson that didn’t insist that I really WANTED a strapless embellished gown for “my special day,” so I wouldn’t “regret it.” It often felt like I was being told that if I couldn’t cram myself into the extremely restrictive role of BRIDE, then I shouldn’t even be getting married.

Because of this, I’m perhaps oddly passionate about wedding dresses with sleeves. I’ll take any kind of sleeve: a cap sleeve, a short sleeve, a three-quarter-length sleeve, a full sleeve. And when I got up at the crack of dawn to watch the Royal Wedding in 2011, I screamed with delight when I saw Katherine wearing a dress with actual, honest-to-god, sleeves. And while Ms. Middleton’s wedding dress choice didn’t popularize sleeves here in the States quite as much as I’d like, we’ve made serious progress in the last few years. So today, I’m pleased to bring you this Wedding Dresses with Sleeves roundup, for the modest and edgy alike. We had more dresses than we could possibly fit in one roundup, so when you’re done looking through these, head over to our new Pinterest board for forty-plus more options. We focused on dresses with a noticeable sleeve, in a variety of price ranges, and we divided them by long, short, and modest (or, modest with the help of a good seamstress to help a sister out with some lining).

Because no one who wants a sleeved wedding dress gets enough help finding good ones. 1.  Persephone Shift from BHLDN ($280—Sold Out, but you can probably find it used!) 2. Ivory Openwork Floral Pattern Lace Dress by Lover ($1,166) 3. Long Sleeve Dress by Isabel Marant Étoile available at Farfetch ($721.06) 4. Penelope Mini available at BHLDN (Only XS in stock for $80! But most likely available used.) 5. ASOS Midi Dress in Lace with Wrap Back ($62.29)Best Cat Food To Stop Vomiting 1. Salina Built-In Corset Gown available at BCBG ($598) 2. Dc T Shirt PhilippinesMetallic Lace Gown by David Meister available at Neiman Marcus (on sale! $227) 3. All Around Moving Company Memphis TnSapphire Long Dress in Ivory/Silver available at Revolve Clothing ($795) 4.

Lia Gown by Catherine Deane available at BHLDN ($2,000) 5. Kerry Gown available from Watters Brides (price not listed) 1. Laura Dress by Aria ($878) 2. Sequined Lace Gown by Carmen Marc Valvo available at Saks Fifth Avenue ($1145) 3. Posey Dress ($278) 4. Distinctly Darling Dress available at Modcloth ($87.99) 5. Vintage Inspired Ivory Lace Dress by DreamersLA available on Etsy ($350) Not quite strapless, Reem Acra beaded and embroidered sheer bodysuit and strapless gown, price upon request at Marina Morrison with Grace, 30 Maiden Lane, San Francisco, (415) 984-9360; Carolee rhinestone earrings, $115, at Macy's West, San Francisco; Paris Charade rhinestone tiara, at Marina Morrison with Grace. Chronicle photo by Russell Yip lessCarolee rhinestone ... more It's a mystery even larger than attraction. Why do brides covet strapless gowns with an intensity that defies reason, given that this is one of the more difficult silhouettes to wear well? It's not that women don't instinctively know the hazards -- the too-stiff bodice, the tugging, the back fat -- but they cling to the fantasy that it will work out anyway, like dreaming that your betrothed will always pick up his socks.

Take this plea from a bride-to-be, hooked on a strapless gown, who posted a photo and some questions on a popular bridal Web site recently. "Here is a picture of me in my dress ... what do you ladies think? Is my upper body too big for this dress style? I still need to work on toning up my armpit area because I hate the extra weight there." Hasn't this bride all but answered her own questions? What's to blame for the strapless fixation? The red carpet, for one. And fashion has long been in a sexy mood. Woman are so used to wearing lacy camisoles, spaghetti strap tops -- even corset and bustier tops -- that when planning a wedding, the mind wanders. "When you put on a strapless dress, it feels like a ball gown, it really feels like a once-in-a-lifetime dress," says Juli Alvarez, fashion editor of Modern Bride magazine, when reached at her New York office. "On your wedding day, you want to see yourself in something really special." Still, she says she'd like to see more brides go for a refined, romantic look.

"With this soft, Victorian feeling floating through fashion the last few seasons, I'm liking gowns with soft, puffed cap sleeves," she says. "Maybe the sleeve is chiffon, or sheer or lacy; I think that's modern and fresh." "When I go to (the bridal) market, so much of what I see is strapless," Alvarez says. "I'm amazed that so many brides purchase them, but they do. You really have to be in great shape. You shouldn't be overly busty and not too fleshy in the arms. ... but when I talk to designers, when I say, 'What's up with all the strapless?' they tell me that's what sells." Glossy gossip mags are a big factor. Celebrities often choose strapless gowns for award show appearances, and while everyone knows those photos are retouched, they're still influential. Keep in mind, says Bay Area custom gown designer Martha Blanchfield (marthab@pacbell.net), those actresses are standing stock still for those photos that are seen around the world. "There's never a wrinkle in the satin at the waistline, that little fat pouch below the shoulder blade is absent, the bust line hugs her perfectly," she says.

"And because she's standing still, the weight of a train is not tugging at the bodice causing her to constantly pull it back into place." If a bride is not right for strapless, Blanchfield tries to steer her toward V-necks, she says, but if a customer is adamant about strapless, a custom gown can be designed to alleviate the fit and wear challenges a store-bought dress can't offer, she says. "I might bring in additional boning or add a corselet or actual corset to correct figure challenges." Wedding photographers gripe about strapless gowns because they look best shot from straight ahead, which is problematic, as the bride is constantly moving."Because even the dresses by the best designers often do not fit properly. They're either too big and the bodice is like a shelf sticking out inches away from the body, or they're too tight and you get that extra layer of flesh just bulging out." Then there's all that readjusting. "The brides do this thing where they grab the top of the dress with their thumbs, pull it up and then do this hip shaking thing," Smith says.

This activity does not a good picture make. And besides, she continues, "strapless gowns are boring." Through her lens, Smith says she'd rather see a dress with a beautiful sash or intricate lace or embroidery. "A strapless gown is not very playful, individual or different." There are, of course, exceptions to every rule, says Smith, remembering one glorious strapless gown with a fluttery feathered skirt and another much plainer one that was accented with a big-time bauble. "If your necklace is being delivered in an armored vehicle," Smith says, "then strapless is OK." San Francisco dress designer Beverley Siri says her Bay Area clients tend to select artistic, eclectic styles such as the frilly white embroidered silk organza blouse and a long matching skirt with a short train shown in these pages. "I would describe this as a very Parisian, very Chanel-like look," she says. A lace bolero, a beaded and embroidered bodysuit (to wear underneath a strapless silhouette), a bell-sleeve, square-neck retro-style dress, all pictured here, are some other alternatives.

), says strapless is not her favorite neckline because too many alterations are needed. But when she does create one, she takes care to build in a bustier with boning and sometimes pads to help hold up the dress. "Good fit on a strapless gown is critical," she says. ), "the only women who should wear strapless are the ones who work out five days a week and are not too thin or too heavy and not too short." In the new book "The Perfect Wedding Dress" ($24.95, Firefly), by Philip Delamore, a London fashion educator, brides are cautioned about strapless gowns: "Good for strong, athletic shoulders and arms, the simple style allows for ostentatious jewelry, gloves and big hair. Very flat-chested and heavier-set upper body shapes are best to avoid this style." Of course, again, there are always beautiful exceptions: the very thin Renee Zellweger wore a form-fitting strapless Carolina Herrera gown at her ill-fated wedding; Sarah Jessica Parker wore a black strapless gown to her wedding, which she has been quoted as saying she "regrets" choosing.

(At least the marriage worked out.) Many of the permanently tanned and toned opted for a plunging V-neck like Catherine Zeta Jones, or did the opposite, like Jennifer Aniston, who covered up in the front with a high sleeveless bodice but bared her back. Liv Tyler wore a low scoop neck empire gown with a gilded band under the bodice and romantic, floaty, elbow-length sleeves at her wedding. Gwen Stefani chose a one-shoulder pink ombre John Galliano gown. At her 1995 wedding to Tommy Lee, Pamela Anderson wore, oh, never mind. Her skimpy white bikini isn't a good example. But these are: In March's Vogue, model Jemma Kidd is pictured in a romantic low V-neck with soft tulle bows at the neck and straps (and killer metallic silver pointy-toe heels with wrap-up ankle straps). Jennifer Lopez walked down the aisle in an off-the-shoulder ruffled lace Vera Wang dress in 2004 (she chose a lacy, V-neck, sheer-sleeved dress for her failed marriage to Chris Judd in 2001.) If you want to get technical about it, say the top etiquette experts, a strapless gown is not considered proper attire for a religious ceremony.

The most formal wedding gowns -- those worn by royals -- are never strapless. So many women want to feel and look like a princess, but in real life, princesses cover up, either by royal protocol or personal preference and deference to history. After all, says etiquette expert Letitia Baldrige, a bride is supposed to look beautiful, not like a babe, when she walks down the aisle. "Until 10 years ago, strapless gowns were worn only by 'racy' traditionless brides," Baldridge writes via e-mail. "If a young woman wants to make a statement of appropriateness and pride for being married in a religious ceremony in a house of worship, she will wear a dress that is not too low, and she will cover up her arms. When you're being married in a nightclub for the third time, who needs to be appropriately dressed?" On the same subject, the serious, but hilarious Judith Martin (Miss Manners) also weighs in. In an e-mail, Martin writes, "the symbolic question here is which is more important to the bride, the reception or the ceremony?" she writes.