I know this is an oddly mundane subject for my column, but every pet person invariably struggles with the issue of floors and floor maintenance. As do veterinary hospitals. This is because coming up with floors that serve both human and animal needs is not as easy as you might think. But wait,  I’m sure you’ve all grappled with the stress of a disorderly (or even disfigured) floor in the wake of your pets’ natural tendency to shed, track dirt, leave claw marks or, perhaps (if you’re as unlucky as I am), even urinate and defecate indoors. And before you berate me for my training skills, I’ll have you know that Slumdog (my Pug mix) is an incredibly mentally deficient animal whose congenital hydrocephaly has forever impaired his ability to apply basic canine discretion to where he leaves his excretions. Indeed, 70 percent of all hydrocephalic dogs are impossible to housebreak. belly bands, which deter unwanted peeing, rule for my “tile-trained” brood.

But I digress, back to the problem of floors. Every year I’ve got to pay a guy to come in and power clean my tile floors by way of basic maintenance. (Ain’t no Pine Sol, Clorox or Nature’s Miracle that’ll fix that, no matter what they claim.) Which is probably because grout is a major problem with seriously sloppy pets, whether they’re disastrously dirty and masterly mud-trackers or they suffer from a similarly Slumdoggy condition. I got to thinking about this issue last week while staying with my sister and her two big dogs in a wood-floored Lake Tahoe home with cozy rugs strewn about. Because she’s one of those compulsive clean freaks, the hair-vacuuming and floor-sparing toenail clipping were constantly in play. (Imagine filing your dog’s nails daily to keep from maiming the floors.) So what’s a concerned pet owner to do to preserve his or her ability to lead a life free of floor-related grief –– and still serve his or her human aesthetic requirements?

Luckily for you, veterinary hospitals (and individual veterinarians like moi), have researched these things. Royal Carpet Cleaners For SaleHere's what you might want to try:What Is The Best Magnetic Knife HolderCrack-free, creviceless floors are the way to go. 4 Pics 1 Word Red Stage CurtainsTerrazo and poured concrete are two prime examples. If I ever get a chance to build my own home, a luxuriously stained poured concrete will almost certainly be my choice. (I mean, Terrazo’s nice, but the price! And poured concrete with a sealant is just as gorgeous, in my estimation.) Certain laminates can also work, but they’re really expensive and potentially subject to the toenail-spike quandary. 2. Smooth, seamless edges.

For best effect, baseboards should be similarly crevice free, even flush with the floors, if possible, so that a slopped mop can effectively cleanse any crevice-prone spots. Lots of vet hospitals have these so we can actually hose down the floors. Drains in the floors help, too, though I can understand why you might find these tacky.Hoseable or disposable, low-profile rugs are fantastic. I love the modular tile-style Flor carpeting product for its ability to resist stains and withstand a good hosing (as with the House Pet line). And in the worst of rug-related accidents, you can always replace a tile –– and not the whole carpet. Chilewich people also make very well designed, hoseable products I’ve had good success with. 4. Alternative surface softening. Area rugs and throws that absorb odors are always a great idea. After all, if your floors are going to be flat and unforgiving, the least you can do is offer your pets a few choice throws.Use an enzymatic cleaner like Urine-Off or Nature’s Miracle at least once a week.

A simple household cleaner can be used for mopping every other day. (Yes, I mop my floors almost daily, thank you very much.) Invest $50 in one of those serious Rubbermaid mop buckets and disinfectant-laced mopheads you can change out every month or so. 6. Vacuums with vitality. These robotic vacuum cleaners are excellent for keeping house while you’re away. There’s even one that handles pet hair better than most. Households with more than one Lab-like shedder, however, need not apply. For major hair, get one of those pet-hair-ready vacuums. My sister’s got a Dyson that makes her very happy. For her wood floors, she also swears byIf your pets make a serious mess, professionally clean your floors at least once a year. It will save your sanity. 8. Trimming toenails often. This isn't just about flooring. You should trim toenails often anyway to prevent painfully cracked or fractured claws.Those are my solutions, sourced primarily from my life in veterinary practice but also from my vast experience enduring badly behaved and just plain disorderly dogdom.

What are your flooring solutions? Tell us how you manage in the comments below.Mom, I have something to tell you. Whether Fido is a housetraining pup or a geriatric who's having accidents, your floor will suffer. Covering the floor with newspaper or pee pads is a makeshift solution, but if you're installing or replacing floors, you have limited options for Doggie-proof flooring materials. Forget carpet and hardwood floors and instead choose waterproof -- or water resistant -- materials that are Doggie-friendly. Vinyl Vinyl is either completely or almost completely waterproof, depending on type and brand, according to the Floor Coverings International website. For example, the typical peel-and-stick vinyl tiles sold everywhere are not waterproof. On the other hand, Floor Coverings International points out that "luxury vinyl" is thicker and it must be glued on -- it doesn't have a "sticky" backing like cheap vinyl -- so it's waterproof and often recommended for bathrooms and kitchens. Or, in this case, for Doggies prone to accidents.

Tiles It's a common misconception that tile is completely waterproof, according to Tile Art Center. Different types of tile offer different levels of protection against liquids, so if you have a choice, pick the one that's most water-repellent for the rooms where Doggie seems to urinate the most. Impervious tiles -- including porcelain, ceramic and glass tiles -- are the closest to waterproof, since they absorb less than 0.5 percent of their weight in water. Vitreous tiles are a close second, although their water absorption varies from 0.5 percent to 3 percent, depending on the type and brand. Keep in mind that some ceramic tiles fall under vitreous and others under impervious, so you'll need to read labels to find out what type of tile you're buying or consult an expert if you need help. Marble is porous and thus not suitable in areas prone to Doggie accidents. When tiling your floor, use grout to seal the space between tiles and prevent water absorption. Laminate Laminate floor usually looks like hardwood, but it's made using a core board covered by a melamine wear layer.

This layer protects against scratches and makes the surface water resistant. Laminate is not technically waterproof, so it doesn't work very well with standing water -- as it would be the case if Doggie decides to pee on it while you're out and you can't clean it for hours. However, you can buy laminate flooring that have been treated or coated with waterproofing substances. These are usually sold as "spill-proof" or something similar and are labeled for use in bathrooms or kitchens, when water spills are frequent. Materials That Won't Cut It Dog urine and carpeting don't mix well. You could wash or dry-clean rugs if your dog has an accident, so they could be a better choice than wall-to-wall carpeting. Still, you don't want to be washing rugs all the time for myriad reasons. Hardwood floors are ill-advised. Even if you clean the urine right away, staining of the wood is inevitable -- a dog is drawn to urinate on a spot that smells of urine. Typical hardwood surface treatments won't keep a dog's pee from being absorbed, so stay clear of wood.